Monday, July 20, 2009

How to be a perfect wife...

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era. When I think of the ideal wife, this is pretty much what I picture:

Yes, I know...many of you may scoff at this. I've got to warn you all now, this post may not be for everybody. For me though, this is what I want to grow up to be. It's what I've ALWAYS wanted to be when I grew up. I want to be the skinny little wife in the cute apron with home cooked meal.
I came across this and I felt like it suited my ideals perfecty. I've been using it lately as a measuring stick of how I'm doing.

How to be the Perfect Wife.
This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to be happy in marriage.

Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.

Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.

Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.

Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

  • Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
  • Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
  • Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.

Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.

You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.

Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation

Ok, ok, ok, so some of you may have just ran to the bathroom and lost your lunch. Like I said, it's not for everyone and it's definitly an out dated way of thinking, especially since the whole woman's lib movement. I honestly think though that a lot of men still value these things in a wife, and whether my husband values these things or not, I value them. As you can see, this was a summary from a book, "Fascinating Womanhood". I bought the 2007 version of this book about 2 weeks ago and wow, I really really like it! It's given me a deeper appreciation for what I bring to the relationship as a woman and what he brings to the relationship that only a man can. As women, we have come so far and worked so hard to be equal to men and make sure that they know we can do everything they can do, that sometimes I think we've forgotten to appreciate the god given gifts that make us DIFFERENT. The author is also a member of the church, although she doesn't say it outright in the book, it's clear by the terms she uses and the things she places value on. I've enjoyed the book so much and the change that it has brought about in me that I'm even considering attending the webclass that starts this September!


Sarah said...

I always wanted to be this too! I agree, just wish I could do it! Thanks.

TanuvasaCasa said...

oh don't let the post fool you, I'm still now where close to this!!! It's just an ideal, not exactly my reality yet!

Naihe Family said...

I totally see you as this Molly, always have. I agree with it mostly. Daddy should come home and not feel that stress, he should be glad to be home, with everything tidied, and a warm dinner waiting, makes a happy boy.

ME said...

I TOTALLY's hard to tell, even when i look at myself now, that all i wanted to be when i grew up was a WONDERFUL HOUSEWIFE AND MOTHER...i feel i am terrible at it tho, so thank you so much for the tips because i know for sure that my husband values these traits in a woman, esp because he INSISTS i stay home with the kids and not work...i think i'll even buy the book!!!

Rach said...

I LOVE IT, i love it. I think these things are definitely far from what I offer as a wife...but these are some good goals...I like how it says: "this will bring you peace too..." (or whatever) but it totally does. HEY can I borrow it when you are done?

Candice, Michael, Jordy and Ty said...

Ok saw your post about Sa and his accident. I am so sorry, and glad to hear that he is ok. Also the pictures of your family on the side of your blog are so stinkin cute. I love all of them especially the one of you and your boys. I can't believe how grown up they all are. Especially Reed. He was in diapers when I was there. Time flies.

liko said...

hi molly. it's liko, i met you in-person once at echo's shower. i found your blog through rachel's. anyways, i just read that post about your husband's accident. i had no idea!! that is a very scary ordeal! i am wondering if he is alright?
as for this post, i want to be like that too. my grandma totally has this mindset and everytime i see her she reminds me to feed my husband and all that. i love it!

Jamie J Stansfield said...

k i think this is awesome! it sounds so easy but with little ones that need SO much i feel like i fail most days but hey it give a good goal! Wouldn't our hubbi's all LOVE this?! Lets not let thom know about this until well after the reunion huh? lol

iMaLLheaRt said...

I like it. But I don't know how I can do that since I'm the one that works now. But I do like it and will remember to do all that. Thanks for sharing!

Summer Spillane Jordan said...

this is too funny! i was at camp last week and one of the speakers used this as HE explained to the gals that it was so out dated! the girls were booing it and in my head i kept saying...wait a minute...that's what i TRY to do! i'm definitely on the same page as you molly! love it! i always told my mom we should have switched places...i would have done well in her era. my one ache is that when i'd play house with all of those cabbage patch dolls, i'd just get to hold them and love them all day. i never pretended to scrub toilets, or do the dishes neverending, or mop floors. i'll keep working on it though and who knows...someday my sweet husband might just get to come home to some of that! :)

JuSaMee said...

i agree with some parts and if i WERE a homemaker (i perform that term...) i'd be more like that. but since we both work, i think alot of things have to be more give and take. especially since alot of times taei is already home when i get home. but one thing that sorta bugged me was saying that the evenings are HIS...i think it should be OURS or the FAMILIES...but that's just me.

stef j. said...

totally agree!!! oh gosh, i could really go off on this one... but i'll just stick with saying "i agree".

and that picture is SO my ideal life... if only.

Melanie said...

I love this, and this is also how I try to run my house.. Call me old fashioned or whatever. Have you ever read the book, How to be a Help Meet? It is a great way to become the woman that you should be. I am currently reading it,and there is also a workbook to it.. Just thought I would throw it out there!

Peacefroggal from Pinellas Mommies AKA Melanie